Then she told me this: "what I love most about you is that you're really mean but everyone seems to love you because its like they don't get that you're insulting them, they think you're really being supportive and nice."
I thought about this for a while and realized.......
its definitely true.
Exhibit one: we shall call him toolbox, because he was not a tool ladies and gentleman, he was the WHOLE box. From the wrenches to the pliers, the hammers to the saws. Our conversations often went like this.
toolbox: "sometimes I cry when I'm lonely"
me: uhm you should get a dog. or a prescription.....
toolbox: "you're a sweet girl, thank you for offering me advice to help me, most people just make fun of me"
sarcasm fail.
Exhibit two: we shall call her the town whore, the village bicycle, she is a flaming whore, it you will.
town whore: "he never called me, I thought he really liked me"
me: of course, the fact that you had sex with all of his friends did not at all influence his decision to view as an easy piece of ass, I am sure he is just an asshole.
town whore: "you're always so supportive, thank you for listening"
maybe jizz kills brain cells?
Exhibit three: a skank.
Skank: "I know people are going to judge me for going out, but I only go out like every Friday and Saturday, and sometimes Thursday. My baby is only like 6 months, she doesn't even notice. I mean tonight I gave her her antibiotics and she was so looped out she totally didn't notice I left"
me: I completely understand, its so much easier when your baby is bonded to the neighbor, or your mother, or whatever family member or random stranger you left her with.
Skank: Exactly. you totally get it.
Maybe I should just start giving IQ tests before I waste my sarcasm.
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