be a fucking lady

Don't swear.

Don't be rude.
Never drink too much.
Be respectful.
Use a moderate tone of voice.
Be neat and tidy.

Be nurturing.
Be forgiving.
Be sympathetic.
Be sweet.

Be a fucking doormat.

I am not a huge feminist. I don't want to stop shaving my legs to prove a point. I don't want to burn my bra (have you seen my tits? someone would lose a mother fucking eye). I like high heels, make up, the color pink and crying with S Mclachlan about all the poor puppies. 

But I read a comment today, from a woman not much older than me: I am so embarrassed because nice girls just don't talk like that, they don't even know those words.

And for the millionth time in my nearly thirty years I thought, we are still teaching our daughter's that. We are still teaching our daughter's that they have to conform to be nice. They have to conform to be respected.

I won't sit here and lie, I can't write this from the perspective of a girl who worries about being a nice girl. I write this from the perspective of a girl who was born with her fucks broken. I write this from the perspective of a girl who's done some shit, said some shit, been judged for all that shit. I write this from the perspective of a girl who's made more mistakes in thirty years than some people will make in seventy. I write this from the perspective of a girl who will accept you just as you are, messy, loud, weird, broken, and crude. I write this from the perspective of a girl who has lived.

I don't have a daughter, but the son I have, I am trying to raise to find a girl who lives. I hope someday he brings me home a badass bitch with a potty mouth who makes a good dick joke and laughs at farts while she's drinking vodka sodas with her tattooed mother in law. 

We do our daughter's a disservice when we put them in a box. Break out, bitches, we have cookies and vodka on the dark side and all the fun.