The great porn debate....

I follow several women's groups online, and in these groups, inevitably the topic of men and porn comes up.

Now, let me just say, any behavior that begins to effect your ability to function and connect with other people is BAD, that includes, WoW, crack, food, porn or whatever your addiction is, so OBVIOUSLY this is not about those people, I say this so you can spare me your, "my husband stopped fucking me and started only wanking it to porn" story, this isn't for you, K?

Now, back to porn and jerking off, I am going to assume you don't want to drop what you're doing every time your better half gets a tingle in their down under, right? Yeah? Now, assuming you are not into cock cages and chastity belts (but hey, if you are, more power to you, you do you!) why do you care if your partner is touching themselves? Do you enjoy walking about being the orgasm police? Are you so insecure that every orgasm he has without you is a threat to your relationship? Because you can't sit here and tell me that is healthy.

Its not jerking you say! He is looking at someone else! I should be the only person he is sexually attracted to! How DARE he get turned on by another human body besides my own! Allow me to be a (bigger) asshole for a moment, get the fuck over yourself. Your partner is committed, not dead. I assume you still notice, movie stars, musicians, random people on the street, that cutie who was pumping gas, walking down the street or walked by you in the mall, right? If you don't YOU are the weird one, not your partner. What goes on in someone's head, is truly their own private place, especially in terms of sexual fantasy and love and commitment does NOT entitle you to domain over their thoughts.

AH! But porn is unrealistic! No one looks like that! Women don't really moan/scream/bend/squirt/talk/fuck like that. Well, you are of course, correct, most of us do not. But, sadly, I have had to come to terms with the fact that there are no brad pit look alike immortal vampires living in New Orleans, stalking the cemetery late at night drinking rat blood, and richard gere will NOT rescue me if I go sell myself in the streets of LA. Why? Because I can differentiate between reality and fantasy. Give your partner a little credit, I am sure he knows you can't niagra falls his face on cue....and if he thinks you can, get a new goddamn partner.

Lastly, I understand female exploitation occurs within the porn industry, male exploitation also occurs. However, there are plenty of adults choosing to work in porn, plenty of amateurs voluntarily uploading their own videos, and plenty of legit porn you can watch, so can that argument too, I am not advocating for endorsing teen, child, or abusive porn. But if consenting adults want to fuck on film, especially for money, more power to them.

At the end of all these conversations what I see, are a bunch of ladies with unreal expectations for their men, most of the time, they haven't discussed them with them, or they changed the rules after a commitment was made. I am all for letting your crazy fly before the commitment is made, sex and sexuality are things you need to be in-sync with, in my opinion and if he loves his redtube, and you think its cheating...you're setting yourself up for issues.

Now, stop being mad, and go watch some porn or read some fifty shades and flick the bean....I promise, he won't be mad ;)